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None of your business

 I have struggled my entire life with people pleasing.  Now, this is a loaded statement, so I'll break it down in parts and lead to where I ended up at the end. It was a long journey but Im finally at a place where I feel at peace. First let me say, my entire life I've been labeled as selfish, spoiled, a brat and ungrateful. This started as far back as I can remember and it defined my desperation to " make people like me" and "walk on egg shells". It's not a good feeling, thinking everyone thinks negatively about you all the time. What I found, after looking back and analyzing the reasons was this. 1. My Dad didnt neglect me and people resented it because of their own experience with being neglected He worked full time, took care of me, my mother and my Grandmother ( his Mom) for years. My parents had me relatively early in life, Mom at 20 and Dad at 25 and honestly, I couldn't have done it at that age. The problem was, all of my parents friends ei...
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Girl Mom/Boy Mom/ Mom

 I went through 5 rounds.of fertility, 3 miscarriages, 3 C sections and a full repair abdominalplasty within 8 years from beginning to end at our last child and I usually get ine question,  even from people who should know better and know what we went through to have our family. " wHen arE yOu trYiNg fOr a BOY?" Seriously though....why is this still ok? I'm 40 and exhausted. Read the room, Cheryl. We have 3 beautiful girls that fill up our lives with love and wonder. But somehow we are seen as less or wanting because we didn't end up with some perfect formulation of mixed genders in our offspring.  My husband, more than anything else, is assumed to be " disappointed " not to have a boy or " ovwrwhelmed" to be surrounded by estrogen.  You know...I don't think I'd last long in a marriage with a man that thought that way,  especially after everything he watched my body go through for the family we made and what he survived with me in our losse...
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Mary Mary Why ya buggin

 I heard this song incessantly growing up. Usually sung at me at an annoyingly loud volume while I buried my face in some age inappropriate book I found laying around my house, where my Mom left it, carelessly.  "Mary Mary! Why ya BUGGIN?! MARY MARY I NEED YOUR HUGGIN!" It pops into my head now randomly as a 40 year old adult and honestly, I couldn't tell you the last time I actually heard that song played....unless you count when Run DMC did a cover of it...which I don't...BUT ANYWAY! Hi, my name is Mary ( once instead of twice) and I am 40 years old, married 10 years to a wonderful man with whom I have 3 beautiful girls. I am a full time Vascular Sonographer ( fancy words for Ultrasound tech that looks at veins and arteries!) And I am BURNT OUT. There, the introduction is out of the way! Now, to purpose myself. I need help. Those words are by far the hardest I have ever said and from the way people respond when I ask them how they handle the daily impossibility of l...
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